The power of letting go of the past and embracing your future
Have you ever been in a situation where no matter how hard you try, you can’t let go of something? A time when the bitter taste of disappointment is so strong it has consumed all your thoughts and actions?
A lot of us hold onto hurtful or unpleasant memories, clinging to them as if they were precious heirlooms. We think we’re keeping these things with us because we don’t want to forget, but really we’re keeping them because we’re afraid to let go and move on with our lives, and we’re afraid that, once we do let go, we won’t be able to get our bad experiences back again.
You’ve probably heard the saying every cloud has a silver lining, and this concept applies perfectly to bad experiences in life, whether they be personal or professional. In fact, negative situations can make you stronger if you choose to look at them that way. How so? The key lies in letting go of your anger and resentment towards that negative experience and turning it into a positive one instead by focusing on the lessons learned from the bad event. Don’t just brush off a bad experience—learn from it. It can be difficult to get out of this mental place, but with practice and time, you can learn to move on.
Why is it so hard to let go of bad experiences?
How do you normally react when faced with a disappointing situation? Do you let your anger build up inside? Are you quick to point fingers at others? Do you live in constant fear that history might repeat itself? Or do you forgive quickly and look toward a better future?
Most people let their emotions control them. They blame others for things that they have no control over, and it keeps them stuck in a negative place. If you can learn to let go of these bad experiences, you will start to see positive changes in your life.
Letting go is not about forgetting what happened or forgiving someone who hurt you; it’s about moving forward with your life despite obstacles and challenging circumstances. For example, if you had an argument with your partner today because he/she bought something without discussing it with you first, don’t tell yourself this always happens or I always get left out. Instead remind yourself that even though things didn't work out today, they will tomorrow because there are many days ahead for things to change positively.
Why this bad experience needs your attention right now?
Everyday we’re faced with people or situations that make us feel uncomfortable or upset. It may be a co-worker who says something inappropriate, a situation you don’t agree with, or even an accident on your way to work. Inevitably, our initial reaction is to stew over these moments until they consume our thoughts. The more we think about them, however, the worse we feel – and that cycle can quickly create stress and anxiety for ourselves. It doesn’t have to be that way. We can choose instead to take a different approach – one that lets us forgive and move on from hurtful experiences without getting wrapped up in negativity.
Here are five easy steps to help you let go of those negative situations once and for all;
· Recognize that you can let go: Yes, there will always be times when another person or event gets under your skin, but that doesn’t mean you need to continue carrying it around with you forever. Just because it happened in the past doesn’t mean it has anything to do with how you view yourself today. Once you decide to let go of a past experience, understand that what happened wasn't personal - so why hold onto it? You don't need their apologies or acceptance any longer because they've given up their right to have either when they acted in such a manner towards you. Moving forward means not dwelling on things that aren't important in order to deal with issues at hand.
· Accept responsibility for your part: You can’t control someone else's behavior or predict what anyone else will say or do. However, if someone does treat you poorly, recognize your part in contributing to why it occurred. For example, perhaps there was miscommunication due to poor communication skills on your part - were you listening attentively? Were you too aggressive or quiet during a conversation? Did you try too hard to persuade him/her into doing something s/he didn’t want to do? Whatever happened between two parties was partly due to both of you bringing certain attributes/personalities into the mix – not just his/hers alone. Think about ways you could handle interactions differently in future conversations with others so it won’t happen again.
· Acknowledge what you don’t control: There are plenty of events beyond your reach (and thus lack of control) that occur in life; some good, some bad. If an unexpected tragedy happens (e.g., loss of job), accept that it happened outside your realm; taking charge doesn't change the reality that it did occur. On the other hand, if something positive happens (e.g., promotion), also accept its occurrence with positivity; actively taking responsibility for achieving results only drives home an attitude of achievement and dedication in life.
· Forget the fuss and focus on you: Why dwell on something that leaves you feeling powerless and hopeless? Instead, refocus your energy on what you can influence – mainly how you see yourself. Consider keeping a journal to document actions, behaviors, or qualities that show improvement. Every day that goes by counts as a new opportunity to do better next time, whether it’s accepting someone for who they are regardless of their character, telling someone you appreciate them for making your life easier in some aspect, or respecting/giving equal rights to everyone regardless of their background.
· Forgive, and don’t hold grudges: Of course, there are cases when someone’s behavior is simply too out of line to tolerate. Yet oftentimes, there are levels of understanding that can be reached if you give them a chance (you might never get full forgiveness, though). Take into account that most people act on instinct; they don’t mean to offend or hurt you. With that in mind, give them a chance to learn how they reacted and attempt to correct their mistakes going forward. The more you bring situations into perspective by viewing it logically and rationally in your mind, the faster you'll come back to a relaxed state of mind after something ruins your day for a moment.
How would your life be better if you let go?
We all experience some difficult times in our lives, and when we do, it's easy to think that things would be better if we could just turn back time. But what if I told you that things would actually be better for you if you were able to let go? Letting go isn't always easy, but it is an essential part of growth and healing. For example, when we hold on to hurtful relationships or resentments towards others who have wronged us, we can carry these negative feelings with us for a long time and often end up sabotaging our happiness in other areas of life. If you really want to find happiness and success, then it's time to learn how let go.
Letting go doesn’t mean you no longer care about someone or something. In fact, one of the most important aspects of letting go is forgiveness. It’s not easy to say I forgive you after a terrible betrayal, but those who have been able to find peace from resentment or anger that a friend or family member has caused them can attest that forgiveness helps relieve pain and allow us to move on. If forgiveness is hard for you, try writing a letter instead—letting your feelings out on paper can be easier than saying them out loud, especially if it’s a deeply emotional situation.
When you’re done writing down all that negativity, focus on gratitude for what remains in your life. Think about what you love in life right now rather than worrying about what was taken away too soon. What are some ways you could work toward gratitude even when dealing with loss? Asking yourself questions like these will help shift negative energy into positive energy so you can feel peaceful again.
The more time you spend making space for good things in your life (and feeling thankful for them), the less space there is left over for worry and sadness. Feelings of anger, fear, despair—even happiness sometimes—are temporary. They come and they go, so choose how long you want to feel a certain way before accepting reality as it really is. Learning how to look at a challenging situation in a new light requires patience and time alone so you can think through your problem carefully without being distracted by other people's opinions or judgmental eyes looking back at you from across a table or road divider or chatty coworker cubicle wall.
How can a spiritual healer help you let go of bad experiences?
It is very easy to hold on to pain from past relationships or past situations in your life. It's even easier for some people to cling to these negative feelings. However, sometimes what you need in order to let go of these bad memories or energy is a spiritual healer's help. A good spiritual healer can help you release these negative emotions and energies so that you can move forward with your life in a positive direction once again. With their intuitive knowledge and special healing powers, they'll be able to help dissolve away all of your stuck emotions that are keeping you from moving forward in any area of your life.
You'll also receive advice about how to prevent yourself from feeling this way again in the future. Spiritual healers will never judge someone based on where they're at spiritually or emotionally; instead, their goal is always to empower others by helping them learn how to overcome obstacles more quickly than normal human beings could do alone.
How can a life coach help you let go of bad experiences?
A life coach can help you let go of past events by helping you focus on what is really important to you. They will be able to guide you through, step-by-step, figuring out what is bothering you and how best to move forward. A good life coach will also encourage personal growth which might include taking up new hobbies or interests, reaching out to friends for support or even starting your own business. Your life coach should be able to help with any issue that is holding you back from achieving your goals. The good news is there are many ways a life coach can help overcome these issues so it isn’t something anyone has to struggle with alone.
By seeking professional advice, you’ll find yourself looking at things in a more positive light than before. People who have worked with life coaches often speak about their improved outlook on life, increased levels of self-confidence and greater energy levels.